Sunday, March 19, 2017

The Happily Unmarried Wife


If you have not read my previous post, Uncovering Your Happy, I suggest you take a few minutes to read it before proceeding. I ask this of you simply because if you are unhappy with your life for any reason, you need to first and foremost understand how to get your happy back and keep it. Otherwise, this blog post will be hard for you to grasp, especially if you are single.

So, who is the happily unmarried wife and why is she so happy?

A happily unmarried wife is a woman who knows her worth is not weighed by her marital status. She is well aware of who she is and whose she is. She does not spend her days and nights wondering if God will bless her with her desire of marriage. Instead, she funnels that energy into evolving into more of who God created her to be, serving others, and using her gifts to live a life full of purpose as she works to make her dreams come true. In other words, she is so focused on her life, her goals, and her relationship with God that she understands she is not lacking anything because she is not married. She has all that she needs. The addition of a spouse would only be the cherry on top and not seen as the entire carton of ice cream.

The happily unmarried wife understands that being unmarried is not a severe condition or something that God is punishing her with. She knows that it's only a status. One that many unhappy single women seek to change in desperation with the hopes that their longing for the husband, the house with a picket white fence, and the 2.3 kids will upgrade them to an elite club for only the married woman. Believing this to be true, the unhappy single woman perceives that only her happiness and the feeling of being complete comes from being married, having kids, and being all about that married life. This could not be farther from the truth.

There are many unhappy single women, whose desire to be married has them so fixated on having the bride title that their understanding of marriage and what that involves is watered down. They want to be a bride more so than the wife and once that honeymoon phase is over, they are left looking at the reality of their relationship with their husband and the weight of what it takes to make a marriage work, that many of them jump ship or settle into a life of complacency thinking either they will change, he will change, or it will not get any better than a marriage they were not fully prepared or ready for.

When an unhappy single woman pursues being married and makes that a priority over God and everything else on an emotional, mental, and physical level, she allows herself to be deceived by her belief and perhaps the beliefs of those surrounding her that marriage proves that she has arrived and is worthy. The happily unmarried wife, knows this to be false. She is fully aware that her perception of her life and where she is in it is not based off of the things we can easily become deceived and distracted by, but by the love she has for herself and the love of God flowing through her.

If you are in a single season right now, know that this is your time to get your house in order - spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. The goal of a single woman who desires to be married, should not be about getting married, but about getting whole. Two broken people cannot successfully make a whole. You have to come into your marriage already there and because we attract what we are, if you are broken you will attract someone who is as well. The both of you will be looking to fill a void that only God can fill and as a result, enter into a marriage without a solid foundation to build upon. When you both are whole, you both are bringing something to build with, not looking for scraps in the debris of your life to glue together.

The happily unmarried wife allows her single season to be exactly what it is, without resisting it as she becomes more of who God created her to be. She knows that when God brings her the man He is preparing for her, he will be all of what she needs and wants in a spouse. She will compliment him as he compliments her. She knows her wait will be worth it.

So ask yourself, are you a happily unmarried wife? If you answered yes, congratulations! If you answered no, there is work to be done. Don’t allow the work that you need to do intimidate you. That is not what it’s there for. The work that we have to do in our lives, reveals more of who we are. Self-discovery is liberating and I encourage you to take that journey and strengthen yourself on a spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical level. It will be worth it because not only will you radiate beauty from the inside out, but you will be living your life free from any thoughts that you are not complete or whole because you don’t have the diamond on your finger. We are already whole and complete because God created us, not lacking anything.

Just think...how exciting it that.

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