Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Detoxing From Toxic Relationships

If you're an adult, it's pretty safe to say that you have had your fair share of relationships over the course of your life.  Some may have gotten the best of you and drained you emotionally, while others may have been easy for you to be in, but the timing was not right. Usually when we are in relationships - personal or professional, we know after some time who we are dealing with.  Actions speak, therefore when we become aware of who we are in a relationship with and more importantly, who we have become as a result of the relationship, we have a choice to either stay or leave.  For those who choose to stay, they run the risk of becoming stuck in a relationship that no longer supports their higher good and as a result become toxic with what that relationship is full of, which is usually some form of dysfunction.

This post is primarily about relationships of an intimate nature because I want to point out how easy it is for someone to become a part of what I like to call their "relationship environment."  If you think of a lizard and how they transform their skin to become a part of their environment, that is what happens when we are not aware that we have allowed ourselves to become complacent with a relationship that is not a representation of God's very best for us.  If you are dealing with someone who is broken emotionally, mentally, and spiritually you run the risk of absorbing those parts of them that are broken, thus continuing the cycle when you enter your next relationship.  If you have not taken any downtime for yourself to pray, heal and reflect on the relationship and what it was and what it taught you, you become what that relationship was.  Your relationship make-up becomes altered as walls go up and trust issues develop, making it harder for the next person to get close to you.

I am a believer that after every relationship there should be some downtime - at least a good four months (longer if need be), to make sure you are not carrying any contaminated baggage with you.  But the problem with this downtime is that a lot of people fear being alone and this is because they are afraid to face who they are and their truth so they jump from relationship to relationship seeking to fill a void that only God can fill. We have been conditioned to believe that we just have to be with someone when the truth of the matter is, we don't.

When you take some downtime, it is within that season that you find who you are again and what you really want for yourself and all of that becomes clear when you detox the hurt, pain, and disappointments as you clear your head space and emotional energy.  If you do not detox mentally, emotionally, and spiritually after each relationship, you are blocking exactly what and who you need.  It's like a repellent, your energy is all messed up because you are carrying around a scent that only those who are broken will be attracted to and guess what?  That will be all that you attract - more of the same.  So ask yourself, is not doing a relationship detox worth it?  Stop settling for the bag of tricks when you can have a bag of gold.

God wants you to have His best.  Stop getting in His way by pulling into your life what was not intended for you to have.  Take some downtime and emerge yourself in it because when you do, you come face to face with your worthiness and that in itself is priceless.

With every relationship we have a choice.  Being aware, being mindful, and having your eyes open will save you time, energy, and heartache in the long run, but the choice is yours.

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