Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Detoxing From Toxic Relationships

If you're an adult, it's pretty safe to say that you have had your fair share of relationships over the course of your life.  Some may have gotten the best of you and drained you emotionally, while others may have been easy for you to be in, but the timing was not right. Usually when we are in relationships - personal or professional, we know after some time who we are dealing with.  Actions speak, therefore when we become aware of who we are in a relationship with and more importantly, who we have become as a result of the relationship, we have a choice to either stay or leave.  For those who choose to stay, they run the risk of becoming stuck in a relationship that no longer supports their higher good and as a result become toxic with what that relationship is full of, which is usually some form of dysfunction.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Praying Is Sowing

Did you know that when we pray we are sowing a seed - a seed that takes time to germinate and manifest into what was planted (prayed for)? But the only way our seeds of prayer will manifest is if we water that seed with faith and cultivate patience within ourselves. As it says in Luke 18:15 (ESV), "As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience."

We cannot plant prayers and expect God to answer if we have not given it the faith and the patience that it needs to grow. Just like the beautiful flowers and plants that we are starting to see bloom in and around our homes, it is birthed from a seed and in order for that plant to grow beautifully, what do we have to do? Water it about every two to three weeks. If we don't what happens? It becomes weak, turns brown, and dies. The same is true for our prayers. We sow them by praying and we keep them nurtured with our faith, standing in great expectation of God's will to be done. Now here is the kicker:  Don't be surprised if the prayer you planted manifests as something else. "In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good (Ecclesiastes 11:6 - ESV)."

The Happily Unmarried Wife

If you have not read my previous post, Uncovering Your Happy, I suggest you take a few minutes to read it before proceeding. I ask this of you simply because if you are unhappy with your life for any reason, you need to first and foremost understand how to get your happy back and keep it. Otherwise, this blog post will be hard for you to grasp, especially if you are single.

So, who is the happily unmarried wife and why is she so happy?

A happily unmarried wife is a woman who knows her worth is not weighed by her marital status. She is well aware of who she is and whose she is. She does not spend her days and nights wondering if God will bless her with her desire of marriage. Instead, she funnels that energy into evolving into more of who God created her to be, serving others, and using her gifts to live a life full of purpose as she works to make her dreams come true. In other words, she is so focused on her life, her goals, and her relationship with God that she understands she is not lacking anything because she is not married. She has all that she needs. The addition of a spouse would only be the cherry on top and not seen as the entire carton of ice cream.

4 Principles For Starting Over After A Loss

Let's face it, the inevitable is we will experience some form of loss. The loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, or the end of a relationship that you thought would last forever are a few things that can throw us off course and leave us feeling like we've hit rock bottom. But what will determine how fast you bounce back after a loss is your perception, your level of faith, and your commitment to rising above the ashes. No matter how hard of a hit you may take, as long as there is life still in you, you can recover and come back stronger and better than ever. Keep in mind, the only way your rock bottom prevails is if you give up.

Starting over after a loss can be scary, unpredictable, and leave you feeling a little anxious about rebuilding your life and it's okay to have and experience these emotions because after all you are human. The worse thing you can do is fight what you are feeling because when you fight your emotions, you are denying them and as a result, you are not allowing the truth of what you are feeling to run its course. Our emotions are a lot like the common cold or the flu - we have to let it do what it does and work its way through before we are healed from it. The same is true for the emotions that we experience.

3 Ways To Get What's Rightfully Yours

We all have goals that are birthed from our desire to have and do more. We make a plan, listing action steps that will ultimately paint the bigger picture of where we hope they will lead us. But there is one thing that is required of us if we plan to get what's ours by divine right and that's called being dedicated.

Sounds easy enough, right? But being dedicated is not as easy as it sounds because if you took a few moments to think about goals that you have set for yourself within the last five years. How many of them can you be honest in saying you accomplished them all? We have all put goals off to the side for one reason or another, but the main reason why so many goals fall by the wayside is because of the amount of work it takes and the dedication required to do it.

So how can we dedicate ourselves to our goals to get what's ours by divine right? Following are three easy steps that can help you overcome a lack of dedication and see your goals manifest before your very eyes.

Dealing With Daily Distractions

We all are exposed to daily distractions that can suck valuable time away from what we need to focus on. I’m sure many of you have laid out your goals this year and may have even thought of how you are going to make the most of your time so that you cannot only be productive, but successful.

Following, I have provided a few tips on how to handle what distracts us the most and how you can make the most of your day.

Social Media
Since its inception, social media has grown to provide us with information on everything and everyone under the sun. While social media provides the ability to stay connected to family, friends, and the world, it can be a huge distraction if we are not mindful of how we use it and for how long. You can have intentions of spending just a few minutes checking your social media accounts and before you know it, two hours have passed, leaving you questioning where did the time go and nothing on your to do list completed.

Conquering Fear

Fear is the one thing that can stop us from having everything that we desire. It can keep us paralyzed from taking the necessary steps to live a life without limits. As a result of fear, many of our dreams end up dying in a land of the unknown.

It is important for us to understand that fear is not “God created” but rather, it is “ego created.” Fear is the ego's way of protecting us from pain, rejection, and anything that may appear to be harmful. However, fear only has as much power as we believe it does. If we believe our fears, we will allow ourselves to become placed in a stronghold – keeping ourselves stuck and inevitably complacent with the way things are if they are not favorable.

Author Susan Jeffers says that we should "feel the fear and do it anyway." Her advice can show us that it is okay for us to feel the emotion of fear but we should not let it control our lives. We can conquer fear once we understand that winning that battle first starts within our minds. In other words, what we perceive to be fearful is not always the truth.

So how can you conquer your fears? The following are a few tips that I think can help in claiming your victory over your fears.

Trusting Your Journey

Have you ever thought to yourself - I am not where I thought I would be at this stage in my life. Where did I go wrong? Why didn't things work out? Why and how did I end up here?

These are all questions that many, if not all of us have asked ourselves at some point in our lives. Not knowing for sure what the answers are, we reflect on what we did or did not do that could have contributed to a particular season in our lives.

It is easy to become worried, anxious, and even afraid of a season in our lives because as long as we are not aware of the how we got to where we are, we become blind to the why we are where we are. There is a reason. There is a purpose. Here is where you must release all control and simply trust your journey.

How do you trust your journey? Believe me, it sounds easier than you think. Following, I have provided you with three steps on how you may find peace within the season you are in:

Undying Faith

In Luke 8:43 - 46 (NIV), it is written:

And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped. ‘Who touched me?’ Jesus asked. When they all denied it, Peter said, ‘Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you.’ But Jesus said, ‘Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.’ Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.’

I wanted to share this scripture with you because I would like to remind you of the woman with the issue of blood. If you know and read the bible, you know of this scripture and many others that are great examples of faith for us today.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Uncovering Your Happy

Happiness. What does that look like to you? How does it make you feel? Is it something you experience daily or is it found sprinkled throughout your life, showing how sporadic it can be? Whatever the case is between you and your relationship with happiness, the bottom line is and you alone are in control of how happy or unhappy you are.

The first step in uncovering your happy is understanding the difference between being happy and having joy. The two are vastly different and depend on what's going on in your life externally and internally. Happiness derives from what is going on in your life, circumstances, relationships, etc., which makes your dependency on the external to make you happy unstable because you are looking outside of yourself for something or someone to fill a void or a need that has already been filled internally.

Joy on the other hand comes from within and is cultivated by your awareness of how complete you actually are. You are already complete because you are a creation of God and because of this you lack nothing. You were made whole. It is when you allow the ego side of you to look externally, seeking to enhance yourself though the acceptance and love from others and  material possessions that you set yourself up to be disappointed, depressed, and deprived. Once you understand fully - in mind, body, and spirit how complete you are, joy emerges from that. That joy is like a stream of water. It is always available to you. If you plant yourself in that realization, true happiness is then uncovered and as a result you will always live a happy life. There will be nothing or no one who can shake you because you are firmly planted by that stream of water.